And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
