Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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