I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize