if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
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When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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