Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize