I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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