I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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