im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
