So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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