when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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