I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize