Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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