you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
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We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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