Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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