D3 body, D1 cock
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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