It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
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I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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