just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
