They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
50% drunk capacity currently
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
