one two three fourrrrnication!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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