That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law