North Korea, Best Korea!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high