He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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