Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
