i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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