I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad