How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.