So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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