hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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