just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im holly from the hills drunk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
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Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your penis caused this!
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