my phone needs a breathalizer
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
