talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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