omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
