One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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