my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize