I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize