just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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