i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
