Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.