She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!