YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
Dating After Heartbreak
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet