Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
