Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.