I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN