My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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