whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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