I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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