got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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