The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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