i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
