we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
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It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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