i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My pussy is not your playground.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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