...so i touched it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
