Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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