i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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