When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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